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The Director’s Skit

Cast:

Director
Camera Person
Production Assistant
Billy
Johnny
Johnny’s Mother
Bus Driver

The director is center stage with the camera person and the production assistant. The bus driver is off stage right. Billy is stage right. Johnny is off stage left. Johnny’s mother is stage left.

The director is shooting the final scene of the movie.

PA: (staring at the camera with the clapper board) Final Scene – Take 1 (clap)

Director: and…ACTION!

The camera person walks around and follows the action filming everything.

Billy: (crosses the stage and knocks on the imaginary door) Knock! Knock! Hello?!

Mother: (opens the door and is pleased to see Billy) Oh Hi, Billy.

Billy: Hi, can Johnny come out to play?

Mother: (yelling) Johnny, Billy’s here.

Johnny: (coming in from off stage) Hey, Billy. Bye mom.

Billy and Johnny start crossing the stage excitedly. The bus comes from off stage heading straight towards the boys.

Bus Driver: Vroooooooom – BEEP! BEEP!

The bus hits Johnny and Johnny falls to the floor, unconscious.

Billy: (bending down in shock to tend to Johnny) NOOOOOO!

Billy runs over to Johnny’s house.

Billy: KNOCK! KNOCK!

Mother: (answers the door cheerfully) Oh Hi, Billy.

Billy: (frantically yelling) JOHNNYS BEEN HIT BY A BUS!

Mother: (screaming) OH NO!

Mother and Billy run over and kneel beside Johnny.

Mother: (very upset) OH, MY POOR BABY!

Director: CUT! CUT! Gather around. Listen, that didn’t work for me at all.

Camera Person: Excuse me, director. I…

Director:
Not now, camera person.

Camera Person:
Yeah, but…

Director: (ignoring the camera person) Let’s run through it again. I need more emotion this time. MORE EMOTION! Got it? Okay, PLACES PEOPLE!

Everyone takes their places.

PA: The Final Scene – Take 2 (clap)

The actors go through the scene just like before, only this time they go as big as possible with their emotions, reactions, etc. This includes the camera person who is going big trying to get neat and interesting shots. The PA is in the background quietly excited and animated about it all, like he/she has never seen the scene before. The director just nods every once in a while nonchalantly.

Once the scene is complete the director yells cut. The director again is not impressed and wants to try it again using another variation.

The camera person continues to try and get the director’s attention to tell him/her something very important, but the director keeps putting the camera person off.

Here are some suggestions for how the cast can act out the scene:

Director: That was just too slow. We need to speed things up. Do it faster!

Director: No, No, No! Hey, Pirates are really big right now, let’s do it like you are all pirates.

The bus can be a pirate ship that hits Johnny as the bows are rowing their boat.

Director: Let’s try something new. I used to love Kung Fu Theater as a kid. Let’s try it like that.

The cast can be ninjas or samurais. The bus can be a rickshaw or a ninja, if the others are samurais.

Other suggestions:

Wild West
Overly Happy
Underwater
Medieval Times
Halloween Time
Leprechauns
Silent Movie
Action Movie
Sit-Com
Musical
Opera
Star Wars
Dancing
Sponge Bob

The director can also ask the audience for suggestion. If you decide to go this route make sure that the cast has rehearsed every possible variation they may come across.
This is definitely something for older kids.

Once the “cast” has run through a few variations the director will finally be pleased.

Director: Cut! That was it! Perfect! That’s a print!

Camera Person: (yelling out of frustration) Director!

Director: What is it? You have been bothering me this whole time. What is sooooo important?

Camera Person: um…There’s no film in the camera.

Everyone else: WHAT!?

And everyone chases the camera person off stage.